The Transition from One to Two Kids: What Every Mom Needs to Know
Last May we welcomed our second child into the world. I wasn’t prepared for how challenging the transition from being a mom of one to a mom of two kids would be! Juggling a newborn and a toddler is no easy feat. Whether you are expecting another baby or thinking about it, here are some insights from my own personal journey to encourage you, but also prepare you for this life changing transition. If you’d rather listen to how our journey has been, check it out on the podcast!
First, let’s dive into what was easier and what was more challenging for me the second time around.
Easier
Postpartum Recovery
The physical recovery of labor, delivery and postpartum was easier. I knew what to expect (hello adult diapers) and my body had done this before. With my first I had a lot of aches and pains and recovery took much longer. Most moms told me they had a similar experience and it was helpful to know before I delivered.
Experience
You have taken care of a baby before! Even if it’s been a while, for me it has been 3 years, you will remember how to change a diaper, when to feed them, if they are breathing and sleeping properly, milestones etc. It will all come back to you! You also already know how to use most of the baby items, sleep sacks, bottles, bounces etc.
Here are my Must Have Baby Items:
Pumping & Breastfeeding
How you feed your baby is up to you and each experience and journey is unique to the momma & baby. Personally, both my babies latched easily and never had any issues with breastfeeding and it’s something I enjoy. Knowing what to do this time resulted in a lot less stress once my son was gaining weight regularly. With my first I mentally could not get myself to pump and therefore never did and supplemented with formula earlier but with my son I’ve been pumping for 8 months. Do what works for you, find a lactation consultant to work with, choose to exclusively pump, combination feed or switch to formula. Remember, FED IS BEST and you are making the right choice for your baby!
Now let’s dive into what’s been more challenging:
Lack of sleep and rest
With a toddler to chase and take care of, gone are the days of laying on the couch binging Netflix while the baby contact naps! And don’t even get me started on “sleep when the baby sleeps”. The hardest part has been little to no sleep and taking care of two kids with little to no nap or rest time.
Older Sibling having to now share time and attention'
Although my daughter was excited for her new sibling she needed time to adjust. Your oldest child was used to getting all of mommy & daddy’s attention. Now they have to share it and wait and be patient. It’s normal and understandable for them to act out at first. Try your best to give them your full attention when you can and include them in things with their sibling. My daughter likes helping me by getting diapers or burp cloths for the baby.
Divide & Conquer
For the first four months my husband and I had to divide and conquer! I was with the baby and he was with the toddler. Bedtime was a hot mess and we weren’t together as much as we were used to. You will have to do this to survive for a few weeks or months, but it won’t last forever.
Tips to help you and your family adjust
Lower expectations. Do not expect the postpartum and newborn stage to go the same way as it did with one.
Ask for help more than you think you need/should.
Schedule one-on-one time and activities with your older child even if it’s just 30 minutes!
Make time for date nights, mom groups, friend time, little breaks or rest.
No matter how adjusting to a family of 4 started out or how it’s going at the moment, give it time. The 6th month mark was a turning point for us and for many families. The routines have been established, sleep is getting better, everyone has adjusted to this new family of four and you forget what life was even like without your new family member.
Another blessing, seeing the love and bond between siblings. It’s beautiful to see your oldest step into their big sister or big brother role and it’s amazing to see the baby smile, giggle and want to play with their sibling.
You also have the gift of knowing it’s going to go by so fast! It’s crazy how quickly babies turn into toddlers. Soak it all up when you can, slow down, give yourself grace and enjoy the family you are growing and raising.